Burnt Creme Brulee - A True Torch Song

It's silky smooth. It's creamy. It can be any flavor you want it to be. It's hard on top but once you break through that tough exterior it's soft and yummy. Where was I? Oh yes, Creme Brulee. I have been in love with this custard dessert since I was a kid. On my 35th birthday, my dear friend and dirty girl Theresa got me my first kitchen torch and ramekin set. A very subtle hint that I was to learn and hopefully become a master of this delicious dessert.

If you have never made creme brulee, it's not entirely that difficult, but, it's all in knowing the textures by sight once you have tempered the eggs into the hot cream. So, my first attempt was respectable. The custard was a bit loose but the flavor was spectacular. The problem, being that I love the hard sugar top of the creme brulee, I thought it best that I put about 1/2 cup of granulated sugar on each ramekin. I got a thick hard top - that used up an entire tank of gas by the time it was done. And the top burned. But, all in all, a successful first attempt. The second attempt was about spot on. I still remember thinking I needed a touch more vanilla in the base but, the texture, look and the hard sugar top were perfect. I was on my way to mastering creme brulee for my dear friend Theresa.

Through the years I practiced all sorts of creme brulee. Lavender, pumpkin, chocolate, espresso and even chili caramel. Most recently, I must admit that I made the perfect creme brulee : Blood Orange. It was Jack's birthday and he asked that his husband/chef make a special meal for him and his cousins and parents. Blood oranges are in season right now, so, a blood orange creme brulee was going to be dessert. It was brilliant! (Ok - I know, too much self appreciation- but believe me, I learned my lesson... just wait.) The custard steeped with blood orange zest slowly... the eggs tempered in perfectly.... they set without a single foam bubble... the sugar was used sparingly and created a thin yet gorgeous ice rink right on top of the ramekin. I am pleased to say, there was need only to sanitize the ramekins when the family finished, for, they were scraped and licked clean.

The other night while making dinner for friends at their house, I brought another orange creme brulee. I forgot my torch. No problem thought the master of all things custard, I can simply use the broiler. With the confidence of a prize pastry chef, I heat the broiler and sling my brulee's underneath it. And wait... it's not browning... the sugar isn't melting... shit!!! Ah wait... it's melting... whew... ok... it took longer than anticipated but, the sugar has definitely melted and I have a beautiful brown sugar/glass topping. I tap it to ensure it's hard..... it's not yet... still needs cooling... I place my hand around a ramekin to pick it up off the cookie sheet and scream like a little bitch because the whole ramekin is scalding. The burn is now of little consequence because, as a good little chef, I know that eggs will curdle at 175 degrees and I am definitely over 200. I drop the f-bomb like a marine. I crack into a ramekin and I see it.... I have, for the first time, made scrambled eggs a la creme brulee. My lovely, dear, sweet and supportive friends tell me that they'll eat it anyway. I am coerced from throwing the whole thing out. I watch in pain as my husband spoons a mouth full of sweet eggs into his mouth... the look tells me that the texture is probably much more unpleasant than he expected. Our friends rave about the flavor and tell me it's fine. I owe them. Champagne.. wine... just NOT creme brulee.

I am now on a mission to re-create the perfect creme brulee. And, I assure you... I will get there... and when I do, you are all coming over to eat it together!!!!!

I Remain Bacon's Bitch - My Love Affair With Bacon Continues

Hello Everyone!! I have broken the rules of blogging by disappearing again for an extended period of time. Sorry for that.... new job which has been chaotic and catering which has been fantastic. So, I finally had some down time and thought I start blogging again.

In true bad jew - good chef form, I have continued my lusty and greedy affair with the pig... yep. I am bacon's bitch. And I have no desire to change. Every time I open up my refrigerator and see that package of smoked piggy goodness ready to get crisped, I giggle like a damn school girl. And, I will admit, I can't cook just one piece of bacon. That's just silly. Even if the recipe calls for three pieces, in my piggy mind, they're being absolutely stingy, you need to double it. Which means right off the bat you have to use 6 pieces. Now, you always want to make extra - for several reasons. A) - people can't resist the smell of bacon. Even if you are alone in your house with a locked door - it's inevitable that some neighbor will smell that piggy fresh yummyness wafting out of your window and immediately need to stop by, say hello and eat at least 2 pieces; B) You must taste your pig. Quality control. My ration is one piece tested for one piece used; C) You drop a piece on the floor - please read this carefully. If you drop a piece of bacon on the floor, YOU HAVE TO EAT IT... YOU CANNOT THROW OUT BACON - pigs of yesterday will haunt you in your sleep. At that point you've used three quarters of the package, so, while the oven is still on, you might as well, cook up the rest and use it for, well, really do you need a use? It's BACON.

Now, I have been entirely selfish by not keeping up, so, I'm going to share with you an easy recipe using my beloved pig which is a take on my favorite sandwich - the BLT. This is an easy and quick recipe that will allow you to throw together an hors d'oeuvre at the last minute and make everyone very, very happy.

BLT Phyllo Bites
1 Package mini phyllo cups (such as Athen's brand found in your grocery freezer)
1 package of Bacon (ok really, you only need 7-8 pieces - the rest is for you to snack on)
1/8 of a head of iceberg lettuce ( or shredded lettuce pre-packaged)
5 Grape Tomatoes
1/4 cup Mayonnaise
2 cloves of garlic

1. Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees
2. Defrost Phyllo cups
3. Place bacon on a cookie sheet lined with parchment, put in center rack in the oven and cook until crisp. About 25 minutes and then let cool. Cut into small pieces.
4. If using whole iceberg lettuce, cut into very thin small pieces. If using shredded lettuce, rinse well, dry and set aside.
5. slice grape tomatoes into very thin slices. You should get between 3 - 5 slices for a normal sized grape tomato.
6. Finely chop garlic and place into food processor with mayonnaise and puree until well blended. Transfer to a small ziplock baggie and set aside.
7. To assemble, place a small amount of lettuce in the bottom of a phyllo shell. Follow with a piece of bacon and top with a slice of tomato. Make a small cut in a bottom corner of the ziplock baggie with the garlic mayo and using like a pastry bag, put a small dot (a little smaller than a dime) on top of the tomato. Repeat with remaining shells.


I promise to update much more frequently my friends... I have lots to share!!!!

Now, GO EAT SOME BACON

Back from the Beyond!

Hello Everyone,

I'm sorry for the enormous break in posts... I have found that managing a full time job, school, an internship, a marriage, a house and life in general is, well, hell!!!

So - to catch all of you up to date - I'm in the fourth level of the program already - and there's only a few weeks left of it. Mod's 2-3 were still more than manageable - it turns out that the skills they were teaching me, I'd already learned on my own and learned correctly! It allowed me to focus and start refining my finished products. Mod 3 gave us the pleasure of learning American Regional Cuisine, wine, menu planning, restaurant management and culinary skills... I'm proud to tell you - straight A's were achieved and I earned the respect of the teachers and our fellow students.

I learned a great deal about myself in so many ways through school, work and home over the last 24 weeks. I am so much more confident now in myself and my abilities, and most importantly, happy. I hate to echo Sally Field's infamous Oscar speech, but, I recently discovered that "I like me, I really like me". So, with quiet determination, I've aced my way through the beginning of mod 4 and have had great success. The class unanimously elected me as one of the two Sous chef's for our big production dinner prior to graduation. The teaching Chef's are treating me more as a peer than as a student and my fellow classmates have started to rely on me as a leader. The best of all, I feel calm (though tired!), in control and focused.

More good news my friends, Jack and I have LLC'd my catering company - Mirepoix Caterer's, Simply Delicious! A website will be coming soon and more information as well!

Well, this catches us up for now and I'm going to write a full blog entry on tonight's class tomorrow... it's Patisserie tonight... and let's just say, I was never good in art class with a flat canvas. How the hell am I to be successful with one that's round and squishy?!?! I am awful at cake decoration.

More to come!

Love,

Jeffrey

Pas de Deux? No! Pate a Choux!

One Mod (semester) down and four more to go! Thanks to all of your support combined with hard work, I'm currently holding a 4.0 average! Our class size has dropped from 25 when we started down to 14 and possibly twelve before the end of the week! I personally look at it as the "thinning of the herd". (I was avoiding the typical "If you can't take the heat....").

Baking 2 is cause for my rejoicing! Why may you ask am I so excited? Two Words - CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS! Yes my dear friends, my days of buying a store bought eclair have ended as I can now make my own! At first there was great fear of working with Pate A Choux,otherwise known as "Eclair Dough". This dough is made on the stove top then finished in the standing mixer. My thought was, if this dough is hot, then needs to be handled with my hot hands, I might as well throw in my rolling pin! Much to my surprise, this dough is fogiving. It turns out, the dough needs to stay warm! MY HANDS ACTUALLY HELP!!!! Warm day?! No problem! Cold in the kitchen? Got it covered!!!! So, to make it more fun... this dough gets scooped into a pastry bag for use and I DON'T HAVE TO TOUCH IT WITH MY BARE HANDS! Pate A Choux is my new friend - the Gucci of doughs!

So, the pastry bag... if you've never used one, here's my advice... Fold the bag down by atleast HALF before filling and DO NOT over fill it. Once your filling is in and you roll up the bottom of the bag, you need to twist it to force the dough to the end of the bag where your pastry tip should be waiting. If you over fill it it comes out both ends! (No comment required) Next, cut a small hole at the end of the bag and watch it go! Truth be told, it looks like a pastry poop the way it comes out. (More embarrasingly, the first time I squeezed my "Pate a Choux" my inside voice called it "Pate A Poo" and thought it was hysterical. I ended up squeezing a huge amount out which made a poo noise which made me laugh out loud which I then had to explain to the Chef. Not as funny to him.. Moving on.)

So, squeeze the bag with the hand closest to the top and guide it with the hand closer to the tip. A nice plump line the length of your middle finger renders an almost perfect mini eclair! (I'm not sure why the middle finger, but that's what we were told... if you see an attractive male baker boasting mini eclairs the size of a yard stick, get his number). ANYHOO... the eclair dough goes in the oven and the steam causes it to poof up! Almost double in size. Take em' out and let them cool. Now, there are two steps left... the first is fun and naughty... you have to open up a hole and stuff it with your creme.. eh hem.. you want to use your pastry bag for this and not over stuff it or it will explode. (This is also fun but a waste of pastry creme.) Once you have sufficiently stuffed your eclairs, it's time for the best part... THE CHOCOLATE! In this case, we're talking Ganache... simply scald some milk/heavy cream and add about a pound of chocolate and let is sit.... My friends, it truly is that simple to make this absolutely delicious and sensuous treat. Once the Ganache has cooled and gotten to the consistency of icing, you can either dip the whole eclair in, pipe it on or just spread it with your fingers. Now, all that's left is to fine a nice little spot to relax in, lock the kids in the garage or broom closet, (the same should be done if your spouse is worse than your child) and just enjoy. Trust me, once you make your own eclair you will NEVER buy them again.

Check back tomorrow to read about my fun with the deep fryer!

Who Knew I Was A Leg Man?

I have never been a huge fan of chicken unless it's fried. That or roasted with crunchy skin. However, in meat fabrication class Thursday night, I not only learned a new technical skill, I learned a delicious recipe using the chicken leg and thigh.

First of all, I'm obsessed with the whole de-boning a chicken thing. When the Chef told us we'd be deboning a chicken leg/thigh and then STUFFING IT... well, I was all ears and drooling with anticipation. First was the demo. The Chef sets up his station, calls us over and proceeds to demonstrate how to take all the bones out of the leg quarter. OH MY FRIGGIN' GOD. It took under three minutes. With a Nick Nack Paddy Whack he pulled out the chicken's bones!! I couldn't wait to get to my station to try this out. I grabbed my leg with renewed interest and prepared to start boning! I ran my knife around the bone of the drumstick section of the leg and severed the tendons. Then severed the bone up in the thigh it was connected to and VOILA! One pull, the leg bone came right out. I giggled and did a small happy dance careful not to kill myself or anyone else with the boning knife in my hand! Now, when removing the hip/thigh bone, the Chef had done it by scraping the top of the thigh bone first and then made a slight incision to expose the bone and then scrape around it in order to completely remove it. I started by clearing away by the thigh bone and it started to roll down exposing the bone. I figured I'd keep this up until I had to make the slit to expose the rest of the bone. More scraping, more scraping and it happened! I had succeeded in pretty much turning the leg quarter inside out! No bones! WAHOOOO! Major happy dance for me - with my knife on the cutting board.

Now, comes the yummy part. We made a stuffing of sauteed green onions, diced prosciutto, mushrooms, leeks, a little heavy cream and a few tablespoons of bread crumbs. This get's tucked into the boneless leg quarter, tied up then ROASTED! Out of the oven, tender and juicy it gets sliced into little rolls and topped with a supreme sauce. I am definitely making this for my next dinner party!!!!!!!!! I now officially, am a leg man.

It Really Is Better With Butter

For those of you who read these updates frequently, I apologize for the "slack" in this week's production schedule. The end of the first Module is near and exams are looming closer and closer!

However, last night in class, we made Chicken with a Roasted Red Pepper Sauce. Let me tell you... It Didn't Suck. (Email me for the recipe) The starting ingredient to saute the chicken... butter... for the Broccoli Almondine... butter... for the Mac and cheese... butter. The starting ingredient is always butter. Julia Child would agree that the First Commandment should be "USE BUTTER". Julia Child LIVED by butter. God I loved that woman. What is it about butter that is just, well, like "buttah"?

When I was growing up, my Mother tried to be healthy by using margarine. Our morning toast was spread with what is now known to be made from, among other things, plastic. Of course, my mother referred to it as butter. My Grandfather gave me my first taste of real butter on a bagel when I was five. (He also served me a cup of coffee to go with it. He reasoned that his having loaded it up with milk and sugar made it safe for a five year old. Reader Beware : This is the recipe to make an already annoying and talkative five year old even more annoying.) There were two life altering lessons I learned that morning; 1. Butter should be in a stick form, not a plastic tub 2. Butter is proof that God exists.

That first bite of real butter was the beginning of a love affair. A simple toasted onion bagel was now transformed into something sensuous. A piece of toasted raisin bread with butter... sinful. And really, are there correct words to describe the beauty of a well toasted English Muffin with it's nooks and crannies thoughtfully holding mini pools of melted butter. I'm "farklemt" just at the thought.

I have to eat a warm baguette with butter privately due to the face I make when chewing. Jack says it looks like I'm either going to cry, or, um, well, you get the idea. Truthfully, when it's really warm and the butter is just melting, I'm close to doing both. ;-)

Don't even get me started on clarified butter. I'm not sure who the genius was that created it, but a monument should be erected for such an achievement. When I hear clarified butter, the first thing I think of is lobster. Sweet and succulent morsels of white and red meat dipped in warm, clarified butter. Farklemt again. (I'm a bad Jew. Not only do I love the pig, but lobster dripping with butter. My dear friend Pam takes the meat from the tiny legs and places them in the clarified butter while enjoying the rest of her lobster. When she's done with the rest, there's a little pile of the most sweet, buttery bits you could ever imagine. It's amazing. However, don't try and touch hers, she'll stab you in the eye for it. Crap. Now I want lobster.)

So, when making cookies, use butter. When making eggs, use butter. When looking for something to put on the outside of a roasting turkey, use butter. (Better yet, for this use Truffle Butter) When it seems like something is missing... USE BUTTER. Julia was no fool. If you're not going to use butter, don't bother.

Boning Your First Chicken

Last night was Culinary Skills Class. So far, this is my personal favorite. It's here that we're taught stock production, knife skills and as of last night, the proper technique used to saute and how to fabricate a chicken. Fabricating does not mean lying to the chicken: "You don't look bad without your head little chicken, I promise, nobody would even notice!". Fabricating means to cut it into smaller parts.

Like many others, I have always left the "butchering" of a chicken to the professionals, namely, the butchers at the grocery store who then nicely and neatly package it for me. In my new world, I am that professional, or I am on my way to becoming one! Our Chef Instructor for this class is my favorite. He's from Jersey (not sure what exit) and is truly hysterical. Step by step he taught us how to take a whole bird and make it several parts. I will spare you the step by step instructions we learned, though anyone interested should shoot me a comment and I'll fill you in. It was surprisingly easy.

I did discover the main reason I have avoided butchering my own bird. It's the first step - "Reach into the birds cavity and remove the giblets". First of all let's review the first half of that sentence shall we? "REACH INTO THE BIRDS CAVITY". In a word, EW. A cavity is a nice way of saying "hole". With a chicken this is not quite as disgusting but let me tell you, when Thanksgiving comes around and you're dealing with a 30lb turkey, it's a completely different situation. Year after year I always have this shameful and dirty feeling that I'm committing some horrible act of bestiality when I do this. (Don't even get me started about how I feel when adding stuffing to the bird and the recipe instructs one to "Completely fill the cavity"). And then there's the second part "Remove the giblets". I don't know where "giblets" originated from but it's pretty damn accurate. Usually, the giblets include, the heart, the gizzard, the neck and the liver of the animal. And yet, another Ew. (I feel terrible for the poor bastard who has to remove these items from the bird in the first place, package them and then stuff them back in. I mean really? Do we know that the little frozen package stuffed in there REALLY belonged to this specific bird?! And what about the birds that don't have them? Did they not have them in real life?! Or is there someone with a double dose of dirty bits now able to make double the amount of gravy?) Anyway, to get back to my point: "Reaching into the birds cavity and remove the giblets" is just a nice way of saying, "Fist your chicken and yank out it's vitals". No matter how you say it, it's gross.

However, last night, I conquered this. I didn't shudder, gag or look away. I knew there was no way I could say to the Chef "Uh, excuse me Chef, can someone please fist my bird for me?", so I did the only thing I could do: let my subconscious take over. As I began to violate my chicken's cavity, the oddest thing happened. I started to giggle. In my head, I heard the chicken talking me through it. "Go slow, gentle.. gentle... there, right there. That's the spot. yeah, thats it! Now gently, pull it out... no no.. slow... slow... and there it is". Now the voice was that of a chicken from the Muppet Show which made it absolutely hysterical. I had that same cartoon voice in my head as I went through and hacked up the rest of the bird. Suddenly, I was not only relaxed, but having a grand old time.

If I can find a funny voice of a cartoon turkey, Thanksgiving should be hoot!!!!!!