Burnt Creme Brulee - A True Torch Song

It's silky smooth. It's creamy. It can be any flavor you want it to be. It's hard on top but once you break through that tough exterior it's soft and yummy. Where was I? Oh yes, Creme Brulee. I have been in love with this custard dessert since I was a kid. On my 35th birthday, my dear friend and dirty girl Theresa got me my first kitchen torch and ramekin set. A very subtle hint that I was to learn and hopefully become a master of this delicious dessert.

If you have never made creme brulee, it's not entirely that difficult, but, it's all in knowing the textures by sight once you have tempered the eggs into the hot cream. So, my first attempt was respectable. The custard was a bit loose but the flavor was spectacular. The problem, being that I love the hard sugar top of the creme brulee, I thought it best that I put about 1/2 cup of granulated sugar on each ramekin. I got a thick hard top - that used up an entire tank of gas by the time it was done. And the top burned. But, all in all, a successful first attempt. The second attempt was about spot on. I still remember thinking I needed a touch more vanilla in the base but, the texture, look and the hard sugar top were perfect. I was on my way to mastering creme brulee for my dear friend Theresa.

Through the years I practiced all sorts of creme brulee. Lavender, pumpkin, chocolate, espresso and even chili caramel. Most recently, I must admit that I made the perfect creme brulee : Blood Orange. It was Jack's birthday and he asked that his husband/chef make a special meal for him and his cousins and parents. Blood oranges are in season right now, so, a blood orange creme brulee was going to be dessert. It was brilliant! (Ok - I know, too much self appreciation- but believe me, I learned my lesson... just wait.) The custard steeped with blood orange zest slowly... the eggs tempered in perfectly.... they set without a single foam bubble... the sugar was used sparingly and created a thin yet gorgeous ice rink right on top of the ramekin. I am pleased to say, there was need only to sanitize the ramekins when the family finished, for, they were scraped and licked clean.

The other night while making dinner for friends at their house, I brought another orange creme brulee. I forgot my torch. No problem thought the master of all things custard, I can simply use the broiler. With the confidence of a prize pastry chef, I heat the broiler and sling my brulee's underneath it. And wait... it's not browning... the sugar isn't melting... shit!!! Ah wait... it's melting... whew... ok... it took longer than anticipated but, the sugar has definitely melted and I have a beautiful brown sugar/glass topping. I tap it to ensure it's hard..... it's not yet... still needs cooling... I place my hand around a ramekin to pick it up off the cookie sheet and scream like a little bitch because the whole ramekin is scalding. The burn is now of little consequence because, as a good little chef, I know that eggs will curdle at 175 degrees and I am definitely over 200. I drop the f-bomb like a marine. I crack into a ramekin and I see it.... I have, for the first time, made scrambled eggs a la creme brulee. My lovely, dear, sweet and supportive friends tell me that they'll eat it anyway. I am coerced from throwing the whole thing out. I watch in pain as my husband spoons a mouth full of sweet eggs into his mouth... the look tells me that the texture is probably much more unpleasant than he expected. Our friends rave about the flavor and tell me it's fine. I owe them. Champagne.. wine... just NOT creme brulee.

I am now on a mission to re-create the perfect creme brulee. And, I assure you... I will get there... and when I do, you are all coming over to eat it together!!!!!