There's a Hair in my Pie

Baking class last night consisted of us learning all about pie and then baking one. I started baking pies this past Thanksgiving and had great success in making a pear pie with a Gruyere crust which I must say was quite tasty. (It had a lattice crust. I had a pretty pie. I think pie should be pretty.) Anyway, we learned an interesting fact that most customers, when offered the choice of a slice of pudding pie or a dish of pudding, will choose the pie. The pie is more expensive, offers less pudding than the dish and most people will chuck the crust, but they still order the pie.

The first component of the pie we discussed was the crust. There are two types of crust: Mealy and Flaky. Now, those of you partial to pie, I ask you, would you want someone to say that your pie was mealy? Flaky maybe but, mealy? What are the differences you ask? A flaky crust is mostly used for the top crust, for prebaked pies or say a chilled pie and will not hold well with moisture. And the mealy crust? Well, a mealy crust is much stronger and can hold your wet filling to prevent you from having a soggy bottom that leaks. (These descriptions are from my textbook, I swear!) Another interesting tidbit - while not used much in this day and age, LARD is said to make a superior pie crust. So, to recap on what I learned so far: To ensure you don't have a leaky soggy bottom due to wet or moist filling it's best to make a mealy crust from lard. Makes you want a slice of apple pie right now doesn't it? I think that's enough about crust.

Fillings were next, which got much less discussion. We discussed the types of pies we were going to make; apple, cherry and blueberry. We were broken into teams of two and told each group would make an apple pie and either a blueberry or cherry. We got cherry. So, first things first, we were now to rolling out our crust. My teammate was making the flaky crust for the top and it was up to me to roll out a mealy crust for the bottom. As we were having wet filling in our pie, I felt quite focused on preventing a soggy bottom. I'm not sure how I did it, but I weighed out my shortening incorrectly. This dough was filled with shortening!!!! I added more flour before adding water in hopes of saving it. The Chef came over to inspect my crust, (when you're a Master Chef you get to inspect everyone's crust) and I think I looked like I was going to pee myself. I said "I think I need to chuck this and then start over". He started at my lump of buttery mess and said, "Let's see how it works out. Sometimes our biggest mistakes are our best teachers". Great. I was to be an example of "What Not To Do".

Onto the filling. I peeled and chopped the apples for our apple pie and was then told I'd be making the cherry pie filling for the entire class. Great. I just screwed the pooch with my crust and now I was responsible for EVERYONE'S cherry filling?! Resigned with the fact that I'd most likely prepare a filling sure to create multiple soggy bottoms, I waddled over to collect my cherries. They were in a huge can. And the can was dented. I quickly scanned for a can opener and couldn't find one. I asked the Chef where I might one and he brought me to the back store room where there was table that had a large handle on it. He lifted the handle which revealed a little nubbin with an apparently very sharp tip. We placed my dented can on it's flattest surface on the table, aligned it carefully with the raised tip and then WHAM!!! He popped my can of cherries. And let me tell you - it was exciting and disturbing! The handle, once in, folded over and worked like a crank. He cranked my cherries over and over again trying to fully open them. However, it was obvious that due to prior mishandling, my cherries weren't going to give in easily. After repenetrating the cherries three of four more times in different spots, he gave up. He told me I should be able to drain off the juice for the recipe and then pry back the can to release the cherries. Hmmm, sharp jagged edges and me without leather gloves. I really didn't think I was going to change my mind about cherry pie at this point. I gathered my wits, drained my cherries and proceeded, with help to pry back the damaged lid and free the cherries. Not one digit was injured. Although you wouldn't know it by my uniform. Splashing cherry juice leaves a lot of stains. Into the pan went my ingredients and within a few minutes, voila! I had, cherry filling.

We were next to fill our pies with the cooled fruit fillings. We were told we'd each get to keep one pie. Since I knew my crust sucked, I offered my teammate first choice. He wanted the cherry pie. (At hearing this, the recently screwed pooch wagged his tail in amusement.) I filled my apple pie and rolled out a sheet of flaky crust and covered my apple pie. The Chef said that in order to distinguish our pie from someone else's we should make the vent on the top crust into a unique design. I did a traditional design which looked like a sort of flower or a sun with a little J underneath it. The pies were all put into the oven and cleaned the kitchen.

DING PIES ARE DONE! Out they came. Everyone scampered to look at their baked goods. I spied mine and nearly died laughing. My little design got all mangled during the pie's cooking and looked like a bad perm. Even funnier - my J swelled up and looked like a wedge of pie. Without intent, I had made a hair pie.

Tonight we're learning about cuts of meat and making soup!!!